Welcome back to my blog, HoneyScribblers! I hope you are all doing great :) Today's post is another author feature, this time for the winner of my 4000-follower contest on Instagram! I think Kaylee (@kayleecrosswriter) did a FANTASTIC job with her piece, so why not share it here for all of you to read? She loves writing sad scenes that just hit you in the feels, which I'm sure we can all relate to! Let me (and her) know what you think in the comments down below or private message either of us on Instagram! Okay, enough talking—here is her short story! Read on, and enjoy!
Heaven Gained an Angel
@kayleecrosswriter on Instagram
One year is all we had together.
One year to love each other with everything we had before she is going to be taken away from me.
The monitor that keeps track of her heartbeat is softly beeping in the background as I tightly hold onto her hand. She has grown weaker in the past few days and time is running out.
Our time is running out.
I’m seated next to her bed, listening to her shallow breathing. She’s been trying to fall asleep for hours but the pain is too much. And she won’t let herself die when she’s high on sedatives.
“Love?” she suddenly rasps. “Could you lay with me?”
“Do you think—” I don’t want to finish the sentence, but she nods already. Knowing what I’m dreading.
“Come here,” she says, giving me a strained smile.
I stop a sigh from escaping me as I get up from the chair. She holds up the blanket for me to crawl under. Once I’m next to her, she takes hold of my hand again, giving it a weak squeeze, and nestles herself against me. I let my other hand graze over her back, through her hair.
Trying to keep myself from shaking, I keep her as close as I can. She happily comes closer, putting her ear over my pounding heart.
“Do you remember how we met?” she whispers, trying to save her strength.
I press a kiss on her dark hair. “Of course I do, you were very graceful as you fell into the pool.”
She snorts. “It wasn’t my fault a big guy was in my way.”
“You were running around the pool and bound to slip at some point,” I chuckle as I reminisce in the memory. “I never thought I’d meet the love of my life in the most cliché way possible. Her bumping into me and then I had to save the damsel in distress.”
She weakly punches me in the arm, but can’t suppress her smile as she must remember it all too.
But that smile soon vanishes and tears form in her eyes. “I wish it didn’t have to end like this,” she breathes, her fingers tightening around mine. “But I’m grateful that I met you.”
“Angel, I couldn’t have wished for a more beautiful, kind, amazing woman by my side this past year,” I say quietly, grazing my thumb over the back of her hand, making sure not to hit the IV. “If somebody had told me that I could have one year with you instead of nothing, I would take that chance in a heartbeat. Because the past twelve months have been the happiest of my life, whether we were outside in the sun, or in here making sure you were okay. Every minute with you was a joy.”
I feel my throat close up as I say the last word. As I try to make peace with the fact that she will be gone soon and that I’ll be left behind, waiting for her to come back. My angel notices the sudden change in my demeanor as well and puts her cold hand on my cheek. I lean into her warmth and close my eyes, knowing that when I open them, it might be the last time I get to look at her.
Her thumb grazes my cheek as I try to hold back tears.
“Sweetie, look at me,” she whispers. “Let me see those eyes one more time before I close mine.”
A sob escapes my throat as she speaks those words. She knows she won’t last for much longer.
I slowly open my eyes to look into her bright blue ones. “I don’t want you to become a real angel yet.”
She focuses on my eyes, taking in every emotion that is raging behind them. Then she gives me a shaky smile in understanding and leans forward. Pressing her lips against mine, I put my hand on the back of her neck to deepen the kiss.
And it feels like something final.
A final goodbye.
We break apart, and she puts her head against my chest, her breathing more shallow than it was just now. Her grip on my hand falters for a moment before it tightens again.
She’s leaving, tired of fighting.
And I let her…
I keep her tight against me as her breathing slows. The beeping of the monitor above us is growing quieter, bringing the silence we need to say goodbye.
But it’s not just silence; it lets me hear the life slowly leaving the one person I love with my whole heart.
Sucking in a deep breath, I try to hold back tears as her hand slowly loses its grip on mine.
“Go, angel…” I whisper, pressing her hand against my mouth. “Be without pain and wait for me to join you when my time comes.”
“I love you,” she says, her voice a mere hoarse whisper. “I’ll always be by your side.”
A single tear escapes and rolls down my cheek onto her hair. “I love you too, with everything I have.”
I press a kiss to her hand before laying our entwined hands between our chests. One last connection that’ll fade the moment she lets go of me.
The monitor behind us fades further and further into the background. Nothing matters more than letting her pass as peacefully as possible.
So I keep stroking her bare back through the opening in her hospital gown, grazing my fingers over her spine to give her comfort.
Her hand starts to lose tension, slowly slipping from mine. I can’t be selfish and hope she’ll stay. So I let her leave with the sound of my voice.
“If you see that light, angel, go towards it,” I mutter. “Gain your wings and fly away from the pain. Join your baby and your mom, I’ll take care of everybody that is left here.”
I lay our hands against her chest, feeling her heartbeat. The gradually fading beat.
Her hand loses its grip on mine and doesn’t regain it.
I let my hold on her falter, the last connection between us fading with it.
And as the sudden never-ending sound of the monitor behind us sounds, I let the tears break free.
I let her go.
I had to let her leave me.
Letting go of her hand, I press it to my mouth and try to soften the sobs escaping me. It doesn’t work.
I let every tear and emotion I’ve been holding in since the moment I knew what was inevitable after we got the news out. The pain, the grief and the anger, even the happiness that I was gifted this one year with her.
Everything comes out as I hold my angel’s body close to me.
Breathing in the shampoo she always used, holding her soft hands, playing with her hair, which always made her smile.
I press a kiss to her forehead and breathe, “I miss you, but I’ll keep going. I’ll keep your legacy alive and live a meaningful life until I get to join you.”
Then the door opens. I look over my shoulder to find my angel’s four-year-old daughter walking in, her teddy bear tucked under her arm. She sees my tear-stained face, “Is mommy gone?”
“Yes, she is,” I whisper, trying to hold back another wave of grief.
Her bottom lip starts to tremble as she looks past me. Tears fill her eyes as she carefully approaches me. She vigorously wipes at her eyes before she climbs onto the bed. She sits against my legs and leans forward.
She lets one trembling finger trace her mom’s cheek. After that, she leans forward and places a faint kiss on her forehead. “Goodbye, mommy,” she whispers.
And with that, she lets the tears burst free, burying her face in the nape of my neck.
Together we cry, letting the pain of our loss take over.
We both had to let her go, wishing we didn’t have to, even though heaven just gained a miracle.
All Rights Reserved. Full credit goes to @kayleecrosswriter on Instagram.